Major Changes

I received some major eye opening news last week. It really wasn’t a surprise but to hear it out loud made it real. I went to my doctor for my yearly wellness visit. I knew that my weight was too high and the doctor would scold me for it which she did. I shouldn’t say scold, because she was actually very kind and suggested some changes in my eating/exercising habits. The real slap in the face was a few days later when my blood work came back and I got the awful call that no one ever wants. I have high glucose, high cholesterol, and high triglycerides….all of which can lead to diabetes. The nurse delivered the news and said that my diet needed to change and I needed to start exercising and to come back in 6 months for more lab work. I really shouldn’t have been shocked but I was. I’m 40 years old and I’ve been overweight most of my life. I continuously thought that I could just “fool” my body and I would be ok. But as that is not the case, the harsh reality of being overweight is now hitting me head on. I didn’t realize how long I had been in denial. It seems like everything creeps up on you after you turn 40!!!

Anyway, I have changed by diet. I’ve been eating a lot more healthy. I haven’t started exercising yet….that will begin next week. One step at a time, right?

It’s strange how you can logically know that something you are doing to yourself is wrong, but you keep doing it out of comfort and pleasure. But I’ve received my eye-opener so wish me luck. Stay positive!!

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What’s Missing?

I think I may be going through some kind of mid-life crisis. I turned the big 4 0 last year and for the past several months I’ve felt so lost. I’m not sure what the deal is. I feel like I just need some kind of major life change. It feels as though I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I work full-time at a job that I don’t really enjoy but feel very fortunate to have, I’m a mom, and a wife. I have a lot on my plate. But not a lot of what I want to do. And what do I want to do? Well that’s the million dollar question. I feel like I’m searching for something but don’t know what that something is. It’s the weirdest thing. My whole adult life I’ve been the responsible wife and mom that everyone has expected me to be. I’ve devoted my life to ensuring that my children have what they need and want. They have been my #1 priority since I first found out that I was pregnant when I was 18. I’ve dedicated my life to them. Now they are 21 and 15 and don’t really need me so much anymore. They are creating their own lives which is exactly how it should be. That is what I raised them to do. I’ve been a mom my whole adult life so maybe that’s why it’s difficult to think of being anything else. I think I need to find out who I actually am. I know that sounds strange but I haven’t had time in my adult life to really get to know myself. What do I like? What do I like to do? These are things that get pushed to the side when you are a mom. At this point all I can do is continue to search for what I am missing. Stay positive.

Stop Being Mean!!!!

 

Mean People

Why do people have to be so damn mean? I will never understand it. It’s been labeled as “fat-shaming” and I’ve dealt with it my whole life….jerks that like to get their kicks by making fun of larger individuals. It started for me when I was a kid. Generally it was the boys that would make rude comments. When I was in elementary school I was asked if I take up two seats at the movie theater. I was called fatty. I was called the fat friend. You name it, I’ve heard it. I became very reserved and tried to not draw attention to myself because I was afraid if I did, someone would make fun of my weight. At that time, it really hurt my feelings and I couldn’t understand why they would be so mean to me. I took it extremely personal.

Fast forward to adulthood, I now notice that anytime there is a picture of a curvy girl on any social media outlet there’s always at least one or two people that are just downright mean and nasty. These are adults!!! A lot of times I think they just do it for attention which I find to be really sad. But still, it really bothers me. Not because I am a chubby girl but because they are attacking someone they know nothing about. The person in the photo could have some serious health issues she has no control over or could have just lost 10 pounds and was so excited she decided to post a selfie. But then some troll decides to completely cut her down for their own enjoyment. What is wrong with these people??? Can’t a woman feel confident and not be persecuted by critics?

Luckily I have come to a point in my life that the fat shamers (a.k.a. assholes) no longer affect me as much as they did when I was a kid. Does it still bother me? I would be lying if I said no. But I no longer take it personally and know that their words are a reflection of their true selves and not a reflection of me.

Stay positive!!!

 

Learning to be Proud of Me

Happy Monday all!!!! I want to begin my bragging on myself a little bit. Please keep in mind that this is not something that I would normally do. I’ve never been one to brag or try to make myself stand out in any way. Quite the opposite actually, I’ve always tried to live my life in the shadows so maybe no one would notice all of my insecurities and ugliness that my negative mind has filled me with. I’m sure there are some that can relate. But I’m bound and determined to turn over a new leaf and am hell bent on creating a more positive me.

So here goes….I completed my first 5k this past weekend. I participated in the Warrior Dash in Inola, OK. My first 5k people!!! And let me say, it was not easy. The absolute worst part was the negative voice in my head leading up to the event. I have always been my own worst enemy. I was worried that people would make fun of me because of my size. That didn’t happen. I was worried that people would be staring at me. That didn’t happen. No one was focused on my appearance or how well I was doing. Everyone was just doing their best to get thru and have fun. It was absolutely amazing. I started by running as far as a I could then I went to walking. I completed the obstacles that I could and skipped a few that I couldn’t. And yes the little voice in my head was trying to tell me that I was a failure for not completing the obstacles. But then I started to realize, this was my first 5k and I was a plus size woman and I made it to the finish line. Then the positivity started to seep in. I made it thru and that was a big accomplishment for me. My bff, who also competed and totally kicked ass, was waiting at the finish line for me and telling me how proud of me she was. It was the best feeling in the world. I actually went out of my comfort zone and it turned out great.

The moral to my story is this, don’t let the negative voice in your head hold you back. Trust me, I’m still trying to overcome that damn voice. You can do anything you set your mind to. You are worth so much and deserve to be your best self for yourself. Stay positive!!!

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Day 1

Hello all and welcome to my blog!!! Just fyi, I like to use exclamation marks when I’m excited. The purpose of my writing is to spread body positivity for plus size women. I’m so tired of all the negativity that comes along with being a plus size woman. I’m tired of hearing “well you might want to put on something that covers more” or “that really doesn’t suit your body type.” I’m tired of hearing that our plus size bodies are offensive and ugly. How can you even be offended by a human body? Is that even possible? Apparently so. But it’s complete bullshit!!!
It is my intention to post my thoughts and share some things I find online pertaining to creating a more positive world for plus size women so we won’t continue to go thru life thinking that we are the undeserving trolls that society has made us out to be.
Hold on…it’s going to be a wild ride!!!! Stay positive!!!